28: Guideposts to Wholeheartedness

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This week’s episode continues our series on Wholeheartedness. This is the concept taught by Dr. Brené Brown, that focuses on owning our stories and choosing to love ourselves through the good and bad. It also focuses on embracing our vulnerability and imperfection.

So as a follow-up to last week’s episode, today we are discussing the 10 Guideposts of Wholeheartedness, and these are from Dr. Brené Brown’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.  Today we are taking wholeheartedness a bit further as we help our clients cultivate a deep sense of love and belonging, in spite of any failings and imperfections.

The 10 Guideposts of Wholeheartedness:

  1. Cultivating Authenticity – this is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we are supposed to be and embracing who we really are. Authenticity is also brought about as we invite grace, joy, and gratitude into our lives.
  2. Cultivate Self-Compassion – self-compassion cannot co-exist with perfectionism. So if we want to be compassionate to ourselves, the first thing we have to let go of is perfectionism. Perfectionism can paralyze us and create a fear in our lives that is incredibly counter-productive. Meg shares the 3 elements of compassion in the episode.
  3. Cultivating a Resilient Spirit – There are 5 traits of people who exhibit resiliency that Meg shares in this episode. Being resilient means you can bounce back when adversity strikes. Being adept at bouncing back can be very helpful on the journey through life’s ups and downs. If you don’t possess a lot of natural resilience, listen to the episode to learn how you can build it and keep it in reserve for the next crisis.
  4. Letting Go of Scarcity – it’s hard to be joyful and grateful when you are fearful and afraid. This fear is what leads us to scarcity. Joy and happiness are profoundly different, and you can maintain one throughout any circumstances you face. Continuing to function from a place of joy and gratitude will lead us down the path of wholeheartedness.
  5. Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith  by Letting Go of the Need for Certainty – Dr. Brown defines it best – “Intuition is not a single way of knowing, it’s our ability to hold space for uncertainty and our willingness to trust the many ways we’ve developed knowledge and insight, including instinct, experience, faith and reason.”
  6. Cultivating Creativity by letting go of Comparison – as long as we are creating, we are cultivating meaning. Wholeheartedness includes creativity which helps us make our contribution to the world.
  7. Cultivating Play and Rest by letting go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth – Our society glorifies those who sleep 3 hours a night and we push the limits of human endurance to prove our value and worth. We need time to play and rest in order to be joyful and grateful. Meg talks about the concept of respecting our body’s need for renewal.
  8. Cultivating Calm and Stillness by letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle – The reality is that we all have anxiety in our lives. The more aware we are of our anxiety, the more we can re-direct our thoughts to gratitude and joy. This can create the calm and stillness in your life that is vital to wholehearted living.
  9. Cultivating Meaningful Work by letting go of self-doubt and “supposed to” – most people who do meaningful work have made specific choices and decisions to make their work meaningful.  This takes letting go of the “shoulds” and allowing yourself to honor what you feel is meaningful.
  10. Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance by letting go of being in control – we live our lives in fear of what others think of us. We worry and fret over our “perception” among our peers. Realizing that laughter, song, and dance can create connections and meaningful moments in our lives puts us on the path to wholehearted living.