87: Dave Gerber: Sources of Conflict

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How many of life’s problems can be boiled down to simple conflict resolution? If we stop and think about it, most likely there are MANY common problems that come down to resolving conflict. Make no mistake about it, though, conflict resolution is rarely a simple or easy undertaking. It takes practiced skill, insight, and vision to handle conflict successfully. Today’s show will help us get clear about conflict in our lives as coaches, and give us a framework to better understand how to help our clients with their issues around conflict.

Dave Gerber is the president and founder of Synergy Development and Training. He is known as “The Conflict Healer” for his work in motivating people to become the best version of themselves. As a motivational speaker and coach, Dave inspires audiences to transform the way they engage with the world around them. He simplifies complex ideas into elegant solutions with actionable learning–and with strategies, you can implement right away! Today’s show focuses on one of Dave’s favorite tools, Christopher Moore’s Sources of Conflict.

Show Highlights:

  • How we can approach conflict as coaches
  • Why conflict is messy and people weren’t taught conflict resolution skills in school
  • Christopher Moore’s tool can help people apply wisdom faster and is “gold” to a coach
  • All conflicts fall into one of five categories as the primary source of the conflict:
    • Data/information
    • Interests/expectations
    • Relationships
    • Structural
    • Values
  • How to help clients with some of the specific conflict sources:
    • For values, we have to look at how they show up as behaviors
    • Structural conflicts occur in relation to the function of a business or family. Processes improvement can help. Ask, “Can it be done better? How can I approach the person in charge with these changes?”
    • In relationship conflicts, coaches must question their clients to see if their perceptions and assessments are correct
  • Using this tool will increase our listening around the source of conflict for our client
  • The more tools we have to deal with conflict can reframe and empower ourselves AND our clients

Resources:

Find the Mentor Coaching link at Star Coach