130: Patricia Porter: Conflict Management and Resolution

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Most people don’t enjoy conflict, but as coaches, we deal with multiple issues around this issue. In today’s show, we’re exploring how our coaching skills can help with conflict management and resolution with a coach who knows how it’s done!

Patricia Porter, LCSW, is 25-year conflict management and resolution expert who is known as “The Texas Conflict Coach but helps people all over the world. She is an Accredited Boss Whisperer, which is a coaching specialty around leaders who exhibit abrasive behaviors. She teaches this skill of conflict coaching to graduate students at Southern Methodist University and makes her home in San Antonio. Join us for this deep dive into all aspects of conflict, how it happens in all relationships, and how conflict impacts the flow in an organization.

Show Highlights:

  • Why Pattie was attracted to conflict resolution coaching, while most people are staunchly conflict-avoidant
  • 2003: when conflict coaching emerged in the dispute resolution field and Pattie began her work and started building her craft
  • How to deal with the resistance to mediation in conflict resolution
  • Why mutuality is a big piece of helping people understand the other person’s perspective and learn different ways to respond
  • How Pattie’s clients find her through her website, federal agency contracts, and her work with businesses
  • Pattie’s role as an Accredited Boss Whisperer, working with abrasive bosses; this specific coaching model deals with chronic abrasive behavior of leaders
  • How she works with leaders who impact their organization, working environment, and employees negatively
  • How the cost of abrasive leadership takes its toll on the people they lead
  • How conflict management recognizes the daily triggers in conflict and conflict resolution seeks to solve problems with specific issues before they escalate
  • How two people in conflict can affect the whole team
  • Pattie’s work with teams: assessment, coaching, dialogue or mediation, and entire team conversations for problem-solving
  • The roles of mediator vs. facilitator: the processes are similar in that the coach must remain neutral and help the clients engage
  • How meta-discussions factor into Pattie’s work
  • Pattie’s model of the Not-So-Merry-Go-Round of coaching
  • Two types of clients: those who have a specific conflict in mind (the before, during, and after) and the managers/leaders who want to change their pattern of behavior
  • What people are learning in the basic coaching model: the 7 level structure
  • Why coaches must learn to be neutral in the dispute

Resources:

Star Coach Show

Patricia’s website: Conflict Connections